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June 2012

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Jun. 23rd, 2012

perfect

Quotes

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Just some helpful quotes I found on tumblr somewhere.
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Sick but Skinny

So my whole family got some kind of stomach bug and the day before yesterday we were all really sick. It was just like having food poisoning. I spent the entire day and night throwing up. I lost count of how many times. More than 10. I threw up until I was dry heaving because there was nothing left in my stomach. It was gross. I took 3 or 4 showers, I even wore my clothes in the shower at one point because I was too weak to take them off. My abs and back hurt so much from all the puking...

That day before I got sick I had a really exhausting workout, but towards the end I started to feel dizzy and couldn't finish. I felt bad about it but then I realized it was because I was getting sick.

The next day (yesterday) I was barely able to eat anything at all. I barely had one meal, but I did drink lots of water and Gatorade and Powerade to replace all the fluids I'd lost.

Today I got on the scale and realized that I'd lost 4 pounds. 4 pounds in water weight from vomiting. I can't believe it.

So far today I've had cereal and I plan on going back to my normal eating habits once I don't feel so queasy anymore.
perfect

Hello LJ

So I am not new to LJ but this is a new journal. I needed a place to vent about my struggle with my weight that no one who knows me can see. I am so tired of this body. I am so ready to be thin and beautiful again. A few years ago I would never have imagined that I would have an issue with my weight. Now I am struggling just to lose a few pounds. I am 25 now, but my best weight was when I was 20. I miss that body. I miss the clothes I could wear. I miss going into a store and having everything I tried on look amazing. I'm not sure if that will ever happen to me again. I have had a child recently and I have stretch marks on my breasts, lower stomach, lower back, and my thighs. I hardly gained any weight when I was pregnant but somehow I still got stretch marks. They have no color and you can barely see them when I'm standing, but the minute I sit down they are visible. Instead of wearing bikinis this summer I've been wearing one piece suits. And stretch marks don't tan so they are even more visible if I get any sun. Just one more reason to make sure I wear plenty of sunscreen I guess.

Ugh. Just writing all this makes me feel like crying almost.

I am currently working out more and dieting. Unfortunately my body is weak from lack of sleep because of the baby and also from being pregnant, so I can't work out as hard as I used to. I tried doing some crunches yesterday and I could barely do 20. I used to do 130 every single day.

Back when I was at my best weight, I ran a mile every other day. On days I didn't run, I did 2 1/2 hours of yoga. I did 130 crunches every day, and 50 push ups. Food-wise, I ate mostly lean proteins like fish and chicken, and a ton of salads and fruits and veggies. I had sushi a lot. I only allowed myself to have sweets on the weekends. I didn't drink sodas ever. I drank a ton of Red Bull. I also was working at a job that kept me moving all day long. I never had a chance to sit down. I was a size 0 and I weighed 105 pounds. My abs were hard and strong and perfectly flat, they were defined and when I flexed you could see the muscles. I miss that so much.

I am now 140 lbs and I wear a size 10. Its not that bad but I know I could do better. My goal is to reach 120 lbs and then go from there. Maybe I will be happy at 120. Probably not though. I don't think I will be happy until I get to 105.